Seasonal Affected Disorder (SAD)

 General Health, Life  No Responses »
Nov 212011
 

I know I posted earlier about how I hate this time of year, but I always seem to be so adversely affected by this time of year, I thought it was worth reiterating.

I just can’t seem to get motivated to do much of anything lately. Sure I go through the motions everyday, and put on airs, but in reality it’s nothing more than a facade. And the winter season has barely gotten started. There’s still over 30 days of continually shorter days left before the days start getting longer, and even after that, I still have to contend with the likelihood of even colder days ahead, especially in February. (Typically the coldest month of the year.)

There’s also the rain to contend with. Californians (and I do consider myself a Californian) don’t do good in the rain. After all, we don’t get much of it, that is except for this time of year. And yesterday was one of those days. It poured. It poured so much, more of San Pedro (just west of us) is falling into the Pacific Ocean. It’s a good thing that section of road had been cordoned off due to potential landslides.

And then of course when you add in all the other problems Edie and I have, it just doesn’t help the situation.

Fortunately writing about it does help [a little].

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 Posted by Marc at 8:18 am  Tagged with:

It’s that time of year again!

 Life  No Responses »
Oct 282011
 

The temperatures are trending lower, and daylight is in short supply.

I was rudely reminded of that yesterday and today, when temperatures dropped below 50°F for the first time this fall. The lack of daylight is one thing, it’s still dark at 7 AM, but couple that with the falling temperatures, and………….

My only saving grace is I don’t have to drive 80 miles in the dark to get to work any more, and the skies lately have been clear enough to allow the sun to shine through first thing in the morning (when it finally does come up), but that doesn’t change the fact, I hate this time of year.

The worst thing though, this is only the start of the season. There’s at least another 4 (more likely 5) months to endure, before things start to turn around again.

I just hope I have enough warm clothes and wine stocked up to make it through.

BIG SIGH!

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 Posted by Marc at 5:55 am  Tagged with:

No vitamin D today

 Cycling, Life  No Responses »
Sep 052011
 

I awoke this morning to a bright flash of light. At first I thought I was imagining it, or maybe I tore a retina, but then I heard a long rumble which I determined to be thunder. I was relieved to say the least, but also a little surprised. I wasn’t expecting any rain. I can’t even remember the last time it rained here, it’s been that long.

At least now I have an excuse for not going on a bike ride today. Monday is usually a day off, but since today is a holiday, I was considering it. I’ll just go with my normal routine, and go to the gym instead.

The only problem is, it’s going to be difficult getting my allotment of vitamin D today. While the threat of rain is supposed to dissipate by early morning, the forecast is for partly cloudy conditions throughout the day, which could make it a little more problematic receiving enough UVB rays necessary for Vitamin D production.

Oh well, such is life. Everyday can’t be perfect, and yesterday was a beautiful day.

Hopefully I have enough vitamin D stored up from past exposures to get me by!

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 Posted by Marc at 6:47 am  Tagged with: ,

Some random thoughts

 Life, My MCL  2 Responses »
Mar 212011
 

I wish I could write those catchy little articles that inspire others to do things, or that just make you laugh like so many others I come in contact with, but alas that just isn’t me. Heck I have enough trouble reading the catchy little articles of others, let alone write them.

Anywaze, it looks like the sun has come out for now, giving us a short respite from the pretty intense storm we had yesterday and this morning. The bad news is, it’s supposed to start all over again on Wednesday, so I’d better start enjoying it while I can. Fortunately no longer having to go into work does give me a leg up in that respect.

I’m now on my 4th oncologist, in just over 6 years. Oncologists/Hematologists, at the VA, are all Fellows (except for the one attending physician who fortunately doesn’t change), only obligated for 3 year stints [or less as I recently discovered], so I am used to change. I just wasn’t expecting it so soon, as my most recent doctor decided he couldn’t take it any longer, and quit after only about a year and a half.

So now I have to train a new oncologist, who knows nothing about MCL [and admitted it], but at least is willing to follow my lead. She’s also much easier to look at than my last oncologist, and even better, I can actually understand her.

Fortunately I don’t need much doctoring just yet!

Ok, enough for now, time to go for a short walk, and load up on vitamin D, before the sun decides to disappear again, like I think it just did as I was writing this post.

Oh well, such is life!

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 Posted by Marc at 1:06 pm  Tagged with:

It’s a cold one this morning!

 General Health  No Responses »
Feb 272011
 

It was 37°F this morning! Too cold to do much of anything except stay in bed, which I did until 6:30 AM.

I’ve noticed I’ve been finding it more difficult to find things to write about lately. Not sure the exact reason, but I suspect the fact I have little if anything to do, results in me doing even less. One thing I know for sure is, I do need to solve this problem soon.

I’ve been trying to read more, but the only thing that seems good for is falling asleep. :) (I’ve never been much of a reader, even when I was in school. I’ve been fortunate most things just seem to come intuitively to me.)

I have been spending more time on the lymphoma and myeloma message boards, reading about all the trials and tribulations of others in similar situations. That can be pretty disheartening at times, but at least it provides some comfort in knowing Edie and I aren’t in as bad of shape as many others. Still you can only do so much of that before it becomes overwhelming.

Oh well, it’s not supposed to get very warm to today (maybe 57°F), but at least the sun is shining which is always uplifting. So maybe I’ll go for a walk later on this morning. After all I do need to get my daily dose of vitamin D.

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 Posted by Marc at 7:10 am  Tagged with:

Fate is the hunter

 Cycling, Life, My MCL  1 Response »
Dec 232010
 

I’m tired! I’m really tired. And these past 8 days of essentially non stop rain certainly didn’t help any. Even today, when I thought I would be able to get out on a real bike once again, I looked out side, and discovered the roads are still soaking wet. So here I am stuck in the house once again.

But mostly I’m tired of dealing with my MCL. I’m tired of the endless blood tests, and visits to the oncologist. I’m tired of people asking me how I feel, and then lying to them. I’m tired of putting on a happy face, and going about my life as if nothing is wrong.

You’d think (at least I would) after [nearly] 9 years, my body would have figured out there’s something wrong, and do something about it. You’d think after [nearly] 9 years my body would have built up some defenses to my MCL, and maybe even mount an offense for a change.

But why would I think that? Heck, the best minds in the US can’t seem to come together and figure out how to get completely out of Afghanistan and Iraq, nor eliminate the scourge tearing the fabric of this country [US] apart, so what makes me think my body is any more capable of doing such a thing?

Of course, maybe my body has figured it out. Maybe a high lymphocyte count, hemoglobin in the anemic range, and an enlarged spleen is just the new norm [for me], and I’m actually cured. After all my lymphocyte count has actually been on a downward trend for the past 4 years. Of course so has my hemoglobin and platelet counts, so……..

Or is it more likely my body is just fighting the valiant fight, like King Leonidas at the Battle of Thermopylae, or the Jews at Masada, and in the end will eventually succumb to the never ending onslaught, and no amount of bike riding or green tea will be able to prevent the inevitable.

I don’t know, that’s for sure, and I doubt anyone knows.

So I can rant, I can ride my bike and drink green tea to my hearts content, I might even pray some, but in the end, it won’t do any good. And I’m not about to seek help from a psychiatrist, or take any medication, because the one thing I have come to believe with some certainty is you can’t hide from reality. Our destiny’s are sealed. Some might call it luck, but I call it fate, and Fate is the Hunter.

The only thing I would truly hope for, is after all this time, I’d at least be able to deal with it better.

Notice how I was skillfully able to incorporate a political rant into a post on living and dealing with mantle cell lymphoma.

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 Posted by Marc at 6:50 am  Tagged with: ,
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