Living with MCL

I don’t know how others manage, but for me it’s just getting harder and harder. Ever since Edie informed me of her latest test results on Monday, I have really been in a stupor.

Just getting out of bed this morning was a chore, and I didn’t even enjoy the round of golf with the Eldorado mens club yesterday.

Even riding my bike offers little enjoyment, although when I am on my bike I seem to be able to forget most of my troubles, as I struggle to climb a hill or just to keep up with the other riders. It also helps in controlling my weight, as I have this almost uncontrollable desire to eat. So I force myself to ride.

Still that only lasts for about 3 or 4 hours a day, after which reality sets back in. It’s one thing to be sick yourself, and deal with the consequences, but when someone you love is sick, dealing with that also, well….. that’s a whole ‘nother issue.

Edie does manage to put on a happy face most of the time, as I do, but I know how that is. It doesn’t mean your problems aren’t in the back of your mind constantly, it just means you don’t want to burden everyone else with your problems, and have them feeling sorry for you.

I know this post doesn’t sound much like I’m trying not to bother everyone else with my problems, but I just had to get that off my chest.

Oh well, such is life! Enough with the frustrations, now it’s time to get ready for my bike ride.

Yes, I won my first round of match play in the Eldorado Men’s Club golf Flights Championship, but not even that could improve my mood after Edie called and said her urine protein jumped from 399 mg/24 hrs in November of ’06, to 2288 mg/24 hrs in July ’07.

That isn’t good, and means the Revlimid and Dex isn’t working. And I had such high hopes.

Now we’re faced with a decision – Velcade and Doxil (AKA Adriamycin), Doxil alone or a transplant, none of which are good choices, at least in my opinion.

Anyone who has ever read this blog, or posts of mine else where, know that I don’t like the idea of a transplant, except as a last resort, and I don’t like Adriamycin much more, but those are the choices.

So right now, Edie’s oncologist is going to contact Dr. Durie, a myeloma expert at Cedar’s Sinai, to get his input, plus she is going to have a MUGA scan (to test heart function in anticipation of using the Doxil), and then she has another appointment with her oncologist next Monday to discuss the options.

This getting old *&#@ isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. It’s one thing dealing with your own illness, it’s a whole other experience dealing with the disease of a loved one. That’s a lot more difficult.

Needless to say, I’m not a happy camper.

Well, I didn’t make the cut in this years Long Beach Mens City Golf Championship, but I did shoot a decent round of 89 this morning, redeeming myself for yesterday’s horrible round.

But I have managed to put that all aside, since I have been selected to be the honorary teammate for the 2007 Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s, Los Angeles Team in Training (TNT), Tucson cycling team.

A few months ago, I had mentioned to the coach of the Tucson Team, that I would be a perfect honorary teammate for one of the teams, since obviously I had lymphoma, and had even coached one of the Solvang TNT teams 2 years ago.

Now, while I was serious when I made that comment, I never really expected to be asked.

So, as you might imagine, I was quite surprised when the coach actually asked me if I would like to be honorary teammate for the Tucson Team. I thought about it for about a millisecond, oh maybe it was even less time than that, but in the end I agreed.

So if you’d been considering joining a TNT Team, to get yourself in better physical shape, and support a worthwhile cause at the same time, this is the perfect opportunity.

I would be honored!

Today was the first day of the Long Beach Men’s City Golf Championship, and I have never been so disappointed in a round of golf, than I was today.

I started out quite good, shooting 7 bogeys and 2 pars for a 43 for the first 9, which included a par on #18 (I started on the back 9), which is one of the more difficult holes, and one I seldom par.

But on the very next hole, that good game came to an abrupt end.

I hit an OK drive, but it ended up behind a tree in some standing water, but I still had a shot to the green. I just had to keep the ball below the branches of the tree. So I took a drop from the standing water, and hit what I thought was a perfect shot.

Unfortunately I hit the ball a little too hard, as it ran through the green, and out of bounds.

Unbelievable!

So I dropped another ball, and hit the same shot again. This time, I hit the ball into the sand trap in front of the green. I didn’t have a bad lie, but I was so upset by the previous shot, I hit the sand shot over the green, and as you might guess, out of bounds again.

I ended up with a 9 on the hole, 5 over par. I was just devastated. I was playing so good, but it only takes one shot to screw everything up. I did manage a few good shots after that, but just couldn’t recover, shooting a 51 on that 9, for a total score of 94.

And that was on a course which I typically always break 90. It’s just not that tough a course.

On the bright side though, I’m only 4 strokes off the cut line (Flight F), and tomorrow’s course is more difficult. So a lot of things can change.

I just have to try and put todays round out of my mind, and focus on tomorrow round, something that’s a lot easier said than done.

Golf, it may not be the most physically demanding of sports, but it sure does test a persons character.