I’m sure lots of people will say they’ve had life changing experiences. I even thought I had one back on March 26, 2002, when I received the results of the blood test which eventually led to my diagnosis of MCL. (It’s scary how easily some people can be fooled, especially when it’s yourself.)
While that certainly changed my life, for the better I would add, it can in no way compare to the truly life changing experience of having heart surgery.
I am definitely not the same person I was 6 months ago, before my surgery, not physically or emotionally. Sure, I’m able to do most of the things I enjoy, but not with the same zeal or confidence I once had. From the moment I awake in the morning, to the point I’m finally able to drag myself out of bed, so goes the rest of my day. Every ache and pain, whether real or nuanced, causes me pause. Should I simply ignore it, should I call the doctor, or should I just simply give up?
So far I’ve [mostly] chosen the first, but more and more the latter seems like the better choice, and it’s all I can do not to succumb. (My previous post is a good indication of that.)
I’m just beginning to wonder if I will ever get back to at least some semblance of where I was before?