I am living in what the late CLL expert Dr. Terry Hamblin would have regarded as my end times. People with my type of CLL (unmutated, 11q-deleted, at least up until recently) live about eight to twelve years after diagnosis, he once told me. He had hundreds, if not thousands, of case histories to back up that assertion.
While David goes on to paint a much more optimist view of his prospects (which everyone should read, he’s a great writer), I can’t help but go in a different direction, choosing to focus only on the first sentence of that statement.
As much as I hate to admit it, maybe even try to deny it, there’s no changing the fact, I am living in my “end times” as well. It’s a fact of nature, and no matter how hard we [I] may try, you can’t change the inevitable.
My time might not be as well defined, or as near as David’s, Dr Hamblin provided me with a much rosier prognosis, but then again, it’s not just MCL I have to worry about any more.
And that reality has never become more apparent than it has over the past few months.
On a more optimistic note, the Cardiac Surgery clinic in West LA called, and I have an appointment with the surgeon next Thursday.
So just maybe I’ll be able to delay the inevitable a little bit longer.