Living with MCL

You’re diagnosed with a terminal illness, and given 3 to 6 months to live.  How do you respond?

I’d like to think I’ve responded in a positive manner, and I’ve tried to inspire others into realizing exactly what they have, and how to get the most out of life, but I’m really not much of a writer, and I’m not even sure how good a job I’ve done achieving that goal. Fortunately there are those who seem to have been born with the ability to motivate and inspire.

Randy Pausch, who died of pancreatic cancer on July 25, 2008, was such an individual, and before he died, he delivered this inspirational Last Lecture, “Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams“, which to date has been seen by over 6 million people around the world. It’s a little long (1 hour 16 minutes), but in my opinion well worth watching.

…we don’t beat the Reaper by living longer. We beat the Reaper by living well

Well I just received a more enlightened (at least a more understandable) explanation of Polychromasia.

Simply put, it is an indication of the bone marrow trying to increase the amount of red blood cells (RBC’s) to correct anemia. And in case you didn’t know, I am anemic.

So when a patient is being treated for anemia, if there is no polychromasia then that means, either the wrong treatment was used, or the bone marrow isn’t functioning.

In my case, it may actually be a good thing, with all the increased exercise I’ve been doing lately forcing my bone marrow to work harder.  On the other hand though, it could be an indication the spleen is not functioning properly, which is a bad thing, since we all know my spleen in enlarged as well.

Oh well, remember, it’s always something. I’ll just have to wait for next months results, to see if there is any change.

I received the results of my latest blood work today, and what seemingly has become a trend lately, something never seen before has shown up.

This time it’s Polychromasia, and the indication was I have a ‘few’.

Now if you read the explanation of Polychromasia, I hope you’re not as confused as I am, especially about the following statements.

A slight degree of polychromasia is normal.

So is a slight degree the same as ‘few’?

Increases in polychromasia suggest an increased bone marrow response. [and] No polychromasia correlates with non-responsive, anemic patients………

I don’t know, but both those statements sound like polychromasia is a good thing.

I’m just not so sure that is an accurate interpretation. Hopefully my expert source in this area will respond to my concerns shortly, with a more enlightened explanation.

Anywaze, other than that, with the exception of a 20% jump in my lymphocyte count, and the fact I got dropped from the group this morning, sooner than I was hoping, my RBC, hemoglobin and platelets either showed a very slight uptrend, or at a minimum they remained stable.

Whenever anyone prefaces a statement with those two words, I always wonder about the validity of what is to follow.

But today as I was watching Le Tour de France,  a statement made during a Take Back the Tour commercial really struck home.

… the mind is stronger than the body, and that’s a danger, because sometimes you can push your body too far.

I had never really thought along those terms before, but as I think about the past week, and the last 6 years, 3 months and 28 days, there’s no doubt in my mind, there is a lot of truth to that statement.

When I was first diagnosed, I set a goal to ride more miles, and at a higher intensity than I had ever done before. I was going to push my body to the extreme, with the ultimate goal being to exercise my MCL into remission.

While I obviously haven’t achieved my ultimate goal, I believe the increased training has helped to keep my MCL from progressing at a faster pace, and it has enabled me to reach a level of fitness I had not achieved prior to my diagnosis. And there in lies the problem.

I don’t think of myself as a 60 year old man. In my mind, I’m 30 years old, and there’s no reason I shouldn’t be able to compete with other 30 year olds.  I know what I am capable of [or at least what I was capable of], and when I can’t keep up, my mind just tells my body to push harder.

I know I did that last Friday on Glendora Mountain road, and I paid for it the next day, because sometimes no matter what the mind says to do, the body just won’t, or can’t comply.

I’m just hoping the last three days, off the bike, has provided enough of a recovery for my body to start listening to my mind again.

Tomorrow will be the moment of truth!