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29 Mar |
Fatigue! Is it real? Off Topic
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In the past there has been a lot of discussion of fatigue on the various newsgroups I subscribe to. It is listed as a symptom of lymphoma and leukemia, so there is no doubt that many people experience it, but how do you know if it is really fatigue, or just a case of depression due to being diagnosed with a terminal illness?
I have heard many complain of fatigue, to the extent they are unable to perform as they have in the past. They tire easily, and just have a general sense of malaise, even when blood counts are within normal ranges. Most attribute it to their disease. Others, such as myself, believe that in the absense of a low hemoglobin count, it is more psychological, that is to say, it is more likely a product of depression.
I know, because I am tired all the time. At least that’s my excuse. I seldom want to do anything anymore. I pretty much have to force myself to go for a bike ride, jog or even play golf sometimes. Heck, I even hate getting up in the morning to go to work. Oh well maybe the last thing isn’t really an indication of fatigue, but….
Like earlier, I didn’t want to go for a bike ride, because I told myself I was tired. I thought of a number of excuses to discourage myself from riding, such as the fact that the roads might be wet (it rained last night), and I didn’t want to get my bike dirty, and it was fairly windy outside. The one thing I couldn’t get around was the fact that the sun was shining, and it was a perfect 60F outside. Actually a pretty nice day.
I almost didn’t go, but then I got a message on the MCL message board, from someone I know, responding to a post I made earlier, which said
Good to hear from you Marc; keep on riding!
So I went for a 30 mile bike ride. It took me just under 2 hours, and had about 900′ of climbing. It was a normal weekday bike ride, and it felt good to get out. It was windy on the way back, which made it a tougher ride than I would have preferred, but still it felt good to get out. I had a tail wind on the way out, so I really can’t complain too much.
So the point of all this is to say, while some people may experience actual fatigue related to their disease, if your hemoglobin is good, it is more likely you are just depressed. Get up and do something. Even if it’s just to get into your car to go shopping. Don’t sit around, mope and become a couch potato. You’ll only be better off for it, and I feel that I am well qualified to speak to this subject. My hemoglobin, as of my last blood test this AM, was 12.8 (reference range of 14 – 18).
But if you still think you are fatigued, and can’t perform like you used to, keep this last thought in mind. We’re all getting older, and that, more than anything, may be what is really holding you back. At 57 (58 in 3 months), I know there is no way I will ever be able to perform like I did 20 or even 10 years ago. But I keep trying, and I am still faster than the vast majority of riders younger and older than me, and I can even manage to keep up with some of the fastest 30 year olds, if I put my mind to it.
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24 Mar |
The Future – It’s not all it’s cracked up to be Life, My MCL, Off Topic
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It’s been over a week since my last post of any consequence, so in case anyone was worried about me, I thought I’d better get something down in the old blog.
Nothing has really changed too much for me, although I am happy that Daylight Savings Time is fast approaching, but there have been a few things of note that have occurred, which are worth putting down in writing.
The first thing was great concern over my wife’s MRI, which she was finally able to convince her PCP she needed, due to some persistant back pain. Something showed up on the T2 vertebrae, and somewhere else, that caused the doctor to order a CT scan, bone scan, some additional blood work and a referral to an oncologist.
This wasn’t good. Edie has always been the strong one in the family, knowing how to deal with life’s little crises, not me. I can tell you how to forge jet engine parts and evaluate failures, but when it comes to real life problems, I am pretty much a wooss. Fortunately the blood work came back negative for cancer, so now I can start worrying about my golf game again. I’ll let the doctors worry about how to relieve the pain from her back.
Then on top of that, I discovered a good friend, and wine drinking buddy, has been getting spontaneous nose bleeds, being attributed to a deviated septum. This has put him out of commission for a couple of weeks until he can get his septum repaired at the end of this month.
But that problem was pale in comparison to the problems of another friend, and colleague in the bike business, which I dabbled in for a brief time several years ago. I hadn’t talked to him in awhile, so I was surprised when he called to get information on building up a new $4000 Colnago carbon fiber bike frame he was purchasing. I wouldn’t spend more than $3000 for an entire bike, so we started talking some more.
He informed me that he was just diagnosed with NHL, and was currently undergoing treatment. I was taken aback quite a bit, and of course had to inform him of my situation. We both talked about how this has changed our lives, and made us realize that
the future is just a concept we use to avoid living today
We ended by agreeing to keep in touch more, and to go for a bike ride as soon as he gets his bike built. We are about the same size, so I am hoping to get to ride it, otherwise I may have to buy my own!
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16 Mar |
Amazing Juggling Finale Off Topic
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Sometimes it’s good to to take your mind of the stressful things in life. This juggling performance by Chris Bliss, did just that for me. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
