Living with MCL

As I sit here at my computer, staring outside at the overcast skys (a storm is brewing and expected to hit California sometime this afternoon or evening), and trying to motivate myself to go for a bike ride, I wonder, why am I doing this?

Is it because I want everyone to know what I am going thru, hoping more people will feel sorry for me? Is it because I think it will benefit others, who may know someone in a similar situation, to better empathize with them? Or is it just an outlet for my feelings, and a diary of my thoughts?

I choose the latter, simply because it would be selfish of me to think it was the first reason, and arrogant to think that I have the ability to help others. But like I have always said, you never know what you are capable of, or what affect you may have on others unless you try.

I did manage to motivate myself for a 44 mile bike ride this morning after all. I worked a little harder than I had planned, since I did a pretty hard ride on Saturday with Velo Allegro, a local bike club in the Long Beach area. But the only other rider who showed up for the ride was Ron, and he always likes to push it just a little bit. I was able to reign him in slightly though.

We also met up with the local Leukemia/Lymphoma Society Team in Training group (some of whom I coached last year) who was leaving about the same time, and rode with them part way. Of course I felt obligated to help out, and chased down the faster group. Oh well, you know what they say, “what doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger.” I sure hope they’re right!

As for my golfing, I can only say that who ever invented that game, must have been a sadist. How can you play great one day, well not exactly great, but decent, and then turn around two days later, and play absolutely awful. I even started out with 3 pars on the first 4 holes on Friday, but ended up with a 101 and at least 4 balls lost or in the water. Maybe the best thing to do, would be to quit my job, or at least cut back more on work, and concentrate on golf. Or maybe I should cut back on golf?

I think cutting back on work is a better idea. Now I just have to convince my wife that she has to keep working, while I play. That shouldn’t be too tough, right?

The best news so far is that I have been successful in staying on my diet, and have managed to lose about 5 pounds over the past week. I think about half of that is water, but still it feels it is progress. I’m motivated myself by limiting the amount of time I plan on restricting my intake of food till the end of March. By then I should be at my desired weight (145 lbs – approximately 13 more to go), which I should be able to maintain with a regular exercise schedule. Now that the weather is getting warmer (knock on wood) that shouldn’t be too difficult.

Not much else to report. No other changes or significant occurrances to bore you all with. I’m sure this was plenty!

This is always the time of year I hate the most. I’m sure I’m not alone in that belief, but that still doesn’t make it any more reassuring.

This past week did, however, seem unlike any other I can remember in a long time. It’s not so much that it was cold in the mornings, which is typical most of the time for soCal, but its that the cold never seemed to mitigate throughout the day, making golfing and cylcing more difficult.

I still managed to get in 3 rounds of golf on Wednesday, Friday and Saturday last week, although Saturday was somewhat difficult due to the added rain. Fortunately it only rained for a total of 3 holes, but the sun only shined briefly, and it never warmed up any significant amount. I did manage to ride my bike on Friday, but haven’t ridden since then, and may just take off another couple of days to rest up. I was a little sore on Sunday, I hope from all the golfing I did the past week.

The biggest problem I have right now is, I just don’t seem to have a lot of energy, and I’m not sure if the cause is my MCL, or if it’s merely psychological due to the time of year, and other factors occurring at the same time. While my hemoglobin (Hg) is still above 13, which would be OK if I were a woman, it is below average for a man. That could be part of the problem, although most experts don’t believe you experience much of an impact until the Hg falls below 10.

My oncologist’s has finally got all his licensing and paperwork completed for his move to Corpus Christi, and his last day is the 23rd of February, so I had to schedule an appointment with my new oncologist. I’ve really grown attached to my current oncologist, so having to change could be adding to my lack of energy. (I hate to use the word depression.) I just hope my new oncologist is just as trainable.

Plus I am still gaining weight. I was up to 163 lbs this AM, and my old jeans actually fit me again. Some people still think I could stand to gain a few more pounds, but I don’t agree. My goal is to get back to 145 lbs, so I’m hoping to accomplish that by the end of March, just two months behind my original schedule.

The only bit of good news was an improved lymphocyte count as of my last blood test on Wednesday. The lymphocyte count dropped approximately 10K with all the other counts remaining relatively stable. Platelets, a major indicator of bone marrow performance, was still excellent at 263 (reference range 140-400). Still I’ve learned that one test does not a trend indicate, so before I can really get too excited, I have to wait for my follow up test in about two weeks.

Only time will tell. I’m still looking forward to my 40th high school reunion in September, so I am planning to make it until at least then.